It would be so nice if there were never disagreements, wouldn’t it? That way no one would have to feel bad and no one would ever feel challenged in their beliefs or thoughts. Then everyone could just be left alone to come up with whatever they happened to think of and there wouldn’t have to be anything that ever challenged those thoughts in order to test them. Everyone could be right all of the time and no one would have to deal with anyone else’s thoughts, attitudes, morals or approaches to life. We could all live inside of our own tightly woven and personally conceived views of reality.
Of course this might tend to make marriages impossible because we could never disagree to the extent that we were forced to look at our own thoughts and have them balanced by anyone. There would be no ability for couples to agree on differing points or agree to disagree, and therefore no way for them to become one in their thoughts, beliefs and approaches. Whatever they had on day one would be all that there ever was to hope for. There would be no need or desire to change or to compromise. There would be no chance that the couple could grow closer. In fact, they realistically could only grow more separate as they would become two individuals left alone to examine and experience the world by themselves from their own perspectives. There would be no reason to speak to one another or listen to the heart of one another. There would be no place to grow into and no sense of compromise or giving to the other person, simply because they were worth it, even if you had to give up or in a little for the sake of love and relationship.
When we think about the context of a man and woman bound together for life in Christ, we see a somewhat perfect image of what relationship can potentially offer, if we are willing to let it. The method that we ultimately use as humans in order to grow closer in relationship is, in part, one of disagreement. To be able to disagree and carry forth the love and commitment of relationship is the ultimate image of true unconditional love. I think it wise to remember that disagreement can only come when we are heard or are willing to hear the heart of another. The fact that we disagree should not be the criteria by which we decide if we are compatible enough to walk together, but rather the willingness of each side to allow the other to have their opinions, even if we disagree with them. Not only is it healthy to agree to disagree, but it is also healthy to walk with those people who think differently enough to challenge our thinking and thereby cause us to grow. Agreeing to this type of mature relationship teaches us tolerance and acceptance while inviting one another into the equal partnership of being used to continually mature each another.
A husband and wife scenario is a kind of perfect example, but the same thing applies to those that we walk with in fellowship. A healthy Body of Christ is not created by requiring that everyone always agree, but it is flourished by a willingness to allow ourselves to be sharpened by one another in our disagreements, while still revering friendship and love of the brethren as the most important component.
Blessings!
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