I received a telephone call today. It was one of those that they call a “robot” call. It’s the kind that we’re all getting right now from this or that politician. They tape their message and then it gets sent out to all of us, whether we want it or not. This particular message came from a local politician who was using his office to endorse a candidate for another local office. The way that it all came off was really objectionable to me, so I did what I usually never do: I called this guy at his office. When I called I got one of his “assistants”, of course, but when I told that assistant why I was calling, he put me through to the guy’s voicemail. I left him a kind message explaining my objection in a rational and non-offensive way. About thirty minutes later I got a call from the guy. He told me that it turned out that he had received a whole bunch of criticism on this, but since I had objected to his message in a respectful and intellectual way, which it sounds like most did not do, he wanted to call me and explain that he accepted my objection and that he felt like he had made a mistake in doing this message and that he regretted having done it. He told me that he still maintained his viewpoint, but that he had put this forth in such a way as to make it objectionable to others and in such a way as to cause others to feel, as I had, that he was using his position to put forth this other candidate’s agenda. Again, he did still agree with that candidate’s agenda, but he regretted the way he had put forth his support of that agenda. So, in the end, we actually ended up agreeing to disagree on the agenda, but agreeing that he made a mistake in the way he put it forth to the public, as a public official. I ended the conversation still sure that I will not vote for the candidate he was supporting or him, when it is reelection time, but I did respect him for returning my call, and, even more for that simple phrase of his: “I made a mistake in the way I did it and I regret the way that I did it.” He was even bolder to tell me that he’ll never make that mistake again.
My point is that my respect for him, even in my disagreement, allowed me to be one of the few who got a call back. It was because he felt that I would treat him with courtesy and respect, even when I disagreed with him. It also made it possible for him to tell “someone” that he had done a regrettable thing. My feeling was that he would have liked to have called everyone who had called him, in order to tell them the same thing, but felt by the tone in their messages to him that he wouldn’t get very far with them before they unleashed on him, even though he only wanted to say that he made a mistake and regretted it. When this man said those words to me, “I made a mistake. I regret it.” It immediately caused me to relax and know that I was dealing with a reasonable man, a man that I disagreed with, but a reasonable man, nonetheless.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot today and about what life could be like if we could all find a way to admit when we made a mistake and admit our regret. The only thing left would be for reasonable people to do a Godly thing and forgive them for their mistakes and not hold them against them, even if we disagree with them on certain points.
Each day is a new opportunity to move beyond ourselves. We each have opportunities to recognize our mistakes and own up to them and regret our choices and make changes. At the same time we all have new opportunities each day to forgive others of their mistakes. Remember today is their day, tomorrow may be yours. Let’s give each other a break. Forgive today. Blessings!
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